Podcast

Cassy Summers & Sarah Grandinetti on #IAmBeauty with Parenting

Some of the topics we covered in this conversation…

  • How did the #IAmBeauty with Parenting movement start? [4:49]

  • How do we stop making ourselves wrong for our choices? [11:07]

  • How to NOT go into the trauma when your kids get hurt. [17:12]

  • What do you do when you feel like a bad mom for NOT worrying? [26:38]

  • Examples of how “kindness” can be delivered in surprising ways. [29:32]

  • Sarah shares a story about how she gave her teenage son the keys to his life [32:29]

  • A very different way to interact with teachers when you child is in “trouble” [36:42]

  • Cassy shares how she invites her kids to create WITH her. [40:59]

  • A fun way to approach the weekend with your kids [42:59]

  • How to invite your kids to co-create with you in business [45:08]

  • When you’re not sure how aware your kids are, do this. [48:25]

  • Talking to your kids about money. [52:07]

  • Conversations you can have with your kids to help them see THEIR beauty. [59:02]

  • A different way to approach bullying. [59:49 – 01:06:35]

  • Cassy shares a word of encouragement to you. [01:07:21]

  • Sarah shares a word of encouragement to you. [01:08:00]

Here is the in-depth conversation…

Hi everyone, Ashley Stamatinos here. Thank you so much for joining me. I have two very special treats for you today. I have two amazing, wonderful people joining me, Sarah Grandinetti and Cassy Summers, and for those of you who are not yet familiar with them, I wanted to take a moment to tell you a little bit more about each of them. Before we jump into this amazing, juicy, wonderful interview. I’m so excited to share it with you.
Ashley:, 00:00:03
Sarah is the mother of four children, a brilliant writer, and a dynamic facilitator. The owner of two successful businesses: Salon Mix and Being You Beauty, Sarah’s desire to inspire and empower people to choose more, to actualize their dreams and know the beauty they are has a depth and breadth that touches people on many levels. While her work as a stylist involves physical beauty, Sarah’s target is to pull the inner beauty out of her clients and to help them believe in themselves and see possibilities. The realization that most women don’t even remember the last time they felt beautiful lead Sarah to create workshops to help women tap into their beauty—inside, and out. If you would like to have your life catapulted towards everything you have been desiring, Sarah Grandinetti offers a possibility unlike anyone else
Ashley:, 00:00:30
Cassy Summers is a Mother, Author, Facilitator, and Creator of Magnitude. She has spent years studying the Access Consciousness® tools, implementing them in her own life and with clients from all over the world.
Her unique style of facilitating is empowering and set up to create a continuous expansion long after the session has ended. She is committed to her clients and offers them total presence, caring, and a willingness to take them beyond the conceivable.
Ashley:, 00:01:34
These people sounds amazing, right? I mean, they really, really are. So Sarah and Cassy, or also known as the Sassy facilitators, if you think about it, that Sarah Cassy… “Sassy”. They are the co-founders of the #Iambeauty movement, and recently they started a new segment within this movement called, #IAmBeauty with Parenting!
I immediately reached out to them and asked if we could have a conversation about this incredible movement they are creating!
Sarah & Cassy say, “There is something so exquisite when a parent gives up getting it right and moves into the Beauty of creation with their children.
What if you, as a parent, could embrace your own special brand of parenting, not compared to anyone or anything else…. just you being YOU and contributing to your children?”
Ashley:, 00:02:04
They remind us that all families are different. Some have more ease than others, some have more conflict, but what if you had the power to write a new chapter, regardless of what you were yesterday or what parenting you experienced as a child?
Is it possible that you could create something totally different if the past had no hand in what was possible for you as a parent??
So with that being said, let me introduce you to Sarah and Cassy and let’s get into the interview. So here you have it. We’re going to join the interview where I am having an amazing conversation.
Ashley:, 00:03:00
Welcome, welcome. I’m so excited that you both are here with me today. I have so many questions for you. I’m so curious to learn so much and I’ve already been so inspired by both of you, by learning from you, hearing your stories. I, by the way, love so much when you share stories now that you have to have this video. I’m just saying the stories that each of you have shared are just so in my head and as I’m going through my life by I replay these stories and it brings more ease to my parenting journey and my, uh, my relationship with my husband, you know, and they way we co-parent and I think my son is grateful. So I want to thank you again and I’d love to start off with asking you how did you start this? I am beauty with parenting movement, or even just the I am beauty movement because I was so drawn to it and there’s so much I don’t know about it. So could you share with everybody how it got started?
Ashley:, 00:03:37
I’m going to take that one.
Sarah:, 00:04:46
Yeah,
Ashley:, 00:04:47
I think we’ve already played up a dance and how we tell the story. So back in late 2016, I’m Cassy and I were planning our first foundation class, which is one of the the classes you can take for access consciousness. We’re both Access consciousness facilitators and when Cassy and I get together creation, just kind of. I don’t know if those of you who are listening like I’ve ever had that like into gang with creation, but it was like, like creation, love at first sight. And so we just kind of like, we’re like this and that and this and that. So we’re like, what could we do to create, what could we create that would invite people to the space that we want to get them to in foundation and like looking at themselves as more than what they’ve always seen in the mirror and stuff like that.
Sarah:, 00:04:49
So we decided to create a 30 day challenge. And Ashley, I tell you this, when we sat down and created the 30 days, which are 30 days of daily challenges that you look at your outer beauty, the things that a lot of times we don’t show our gratitude for, acknowledged our contribution. So like how often do you just smell something in the kitchen and go, my gosh, I’m so grateful for my nose, you know, what it, what it gives to my life. So we took, we created this challenge, but we had no idea what it was going to do. And that’s a lot of time recreation spurs from, you know, it’s like I have this possibility in my world and I’m going to go create it and then see what shows up. And so, um, it just, it just took off and I’m now, I think we’re like over 4,000 people or so in the group. And um, we’ve done a number of challenges, uh, and um, from that creation, other creations were born. And this is where I hand it off to her were so cute about it.
Sarah:, 00:05:40

I love it.

Ashley:, 00:06:40
So, Sarah and I, we talk a lot and we both have kids, so parenting comes up all the time and um, and I think as we kept talking, like we started to realize that we’re really different with parents. Whereas I think before we kind of like, yeah, everyone does that. We’re like, Huh, we’re a little bit different. There’s a different energy when you be. And um, and each of us separately have something really unique and then together creates something really dynamic and we’re like, Whoa, what can we create with this? And we looked at just the energy that we cultivated in I Am Beauty. This energy of tribe is energy of having each other’s back. That, that was a total surprise. Like we didn’t know that was going to show up. It just did 4,000 people having each other’s back seemed like an impossibility.
Cassy:, 00:06:45
That just showed up and were like, oh my goodness, this is amazing. And they were like, what would that be like for parents to have a space to had that tribe energy to have people having their back to have us having their back where they could bring up this stuff, we could use these amazing tools of access consciousness that we adore and play with, like getting people to really acknowledged their beauty with parenting and, and then strengthening the things that they would like to change or like to grow and change. And um, so we just got really excited and like all the ideas sort of rolling, rolling. We’re like, we’re going to talk about this, this and this. And then. So then, yeah, we did the, uh, we did a four call series with, I Am Beauty with parenting and we have some more ideas for more in the future. What we’d like to do with that. Um, the feedback was beautiful, full, like, like, and thank you for everything that you said Ashley. Um, and yeah, so the beauty and the vulnerability that showed up in that series was again, surprising. And I love how we just keep getting surprised by this amazing. Um, all these amazing possibility.
Cassy:, 00:07:33

Absolutely. I will tell all of you who are watching or listening that you know, truly the gratitude for the shifts that you’re making. I was listening to people tears from gratitude because sometimes I’ll, I’ll speak for myself. I showed up on the parent to call just out of curiosity. I just felt drawn to it and I didn’t have an agenda of what I wanted to learn necessarily, but so much changed that I was, I was surprised that I was like, Whoa, you know, I didn’t expect that, but it was so incredible. How many different um, opportunities for change you, you sort of offered all of us. And so yeah, it was really cool and inspiring to see all of these people feel so supported. And one of the things I would really like to hear you talk a little bit more about is, I know that one of the things you use sort of help a lot of people with is that a lot of us parents are really, really good at making ourselves wrong

Ashley:, 00:08:44
and you don’t have to be a parent to make yourself wrong all the time.
Sarah:, 00:09:47
Yeah. It’s kind of a journey. So I’m wondering if you could talk a little bit about how it shows up for some of us, you know, that we make ourselves wrong for choices we make and you know, we get into that rut of, of blaming ourselves and, you know, thinking that the way we do things differently or different is wrong because no one else is doing it. We don’t see other people making these different choices are functioning differently as parents. And so we make ourselves wrong. I even see this. I’ll give you one quick example. Maybe it’ll help. I was um, I was at a family gathering and I’m not say who it was, but it was a family and a family member and they basically told me that, um, you know, the way that I was doing something was like weird and wrong and I made myself kind of wrong for it for a moment because I just do think so differently than them.
Ashley:, 00:09:55
And I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was like, why are you giving them so much power over you? Like why do you think more right than you? He was like, oh, he’s so much. But anyway, if you guys could sort of take it from there.
Ashley:, 00:10:54
Sure. But that’s a beautiful example of family, society at the school yard. Like every, everywhere we see. I think that moment you become a parent, you’re looking for the right way to do it. Like the moment you become pregnant and then you have the baby and it’s 10 times worse and you’re just like, there’s got to be a right way, but I find the right book or find the right person to like role model. Like I will find the right way to parent and what so exquisite is that there actually is no right way to parent. Sorry to break all your hearts if that. That’s your ultimate goal. There is no right way to parent that. It’s like, okay, wow, I could just stop going after that.
Cassy:, 00:11:07
And what if there is no wrong way to parent?
Cassy:, 00:11:54
Yeah. So that’s. And, and if you looked at each… I love to look at every family is like a symphony. Hmm. So you have, each kid is their own instrument. Each parent has their own instrument in each person that you invite into your life and the creation of so some people are really close with their grandparents, say invite them in or the aunts, the uncles, you’re all inviting them to your symphony and everyone plays a different instrument and and you cannot ever compared that symphony to someone else’s symphony because it will never sound the same. And if you start acknowledging the beauty of your symphony and you start like, it’s almost like listening for the little, like the little intricacies, then you will probably fall in love with your symphony and not even realize that you could love it anymore. And then how do you, how do you judge that?
Cassy:, 00:11:58
Yeah. So that’s. And, and if you looked at each… I love to look at every family is like a symphony. Hmm. So you have, each kid is their own instrument. Each parent has their own instrument in each person that you invite into your life and the creation of so some people are really close with their grandparents, say invite them in or the aunts, the uncles, you’re all inviting them to your symphony and everyone plays a different instrument and and you cannot ever compared that symphony to someone else’s symphony because it will never sound the same. And if you start acknowledging the beauty of your symphony and you start like, it’s almost like listening for the little, like the little intricacies, then you will probably fall in love with your symphony and not even realize that you could love it anymore. And then how do you, how do you judge that?
Cassy:, 00:11:58
I love that so much and just looking at my world right now as you’re saying that, and it’s just so much more spacious when you say that. And it’s so true. And I heard you say the word comparison or compare and I would love if you could talk a little bit about that too because that is one of them biggest things that people show up in my world, talking about, you know, I just can’t stop comparing myself in comparing myself on social media and comparing myself to other parents. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not. I mean just, you know, every single thing you can think of, I’m not doing it right. Again, it sort of comes back to that polarity. But comparison is such a big thing that I’m seeing. So if you could talk a little bit about that, that would be so helpful.
Ashley:, 00:13:04
Popping for me. When Cassy was talking, one of the things that we brought up on the that Cassy and I are also very different parents as well. There’s some, there are things that like we totally kind of look out and we’re like, oh, I’m right there with you. And then there are things where she’ll do with her kids. I’ll do with my kids and we’re kind of like, we wouldn’t necessarily choose them with our kids. And that’s because of the different instruments that they are, that Cassy brilliantly shared with you. So when I looked at, whenever I find I personally find myself comparing anything, whether goodness, I have so much of this stuff in my world right now. I had talked to Cassy for 10 minutes before we got on here right now. So I’m glad I’m taking this question because I’m actually reminding myself of what, what possibility is to choose. So when I look at comparison, I go to acknowledgement.
Sarah:, 00:13:53
So what I can do is like I’m comparing something with that, that person I’d take a moment to acknowledge or that family or that whatever, acknowledge what it is that lights up about what they’re creating. And then I have to choose to go back and acknowledge something that I’m creating as well. It’s different so it flips it on its head. So if, if you’re constantly tinkering the scale of like the comparison and they’re always right and I’m always wrong. If you force yourself to go like, okay, that’s, that’s really cool what they’re doing, but I have to look like something that I’m doing as well. Then it will, it does this and the comparison isn’t as weighted and it’s easier to get like interesting point of view when you go to acknowledgement, so you actually go to that space of acknowledgement for the other person, their creation, their beautiful children who are never mess and never speak out of turn or actually sounds a little boring, but whatever. Um, and you can look at that relationship or that whatever and be like, oh my gosh, I totally love that, that they have created that in that way. And let me look back and say like, what can I acknowledge about what I’ve created? And doing that and having that be a practice, kind of helps you move out of comparison because you’re having to acknowledge the differences and the beauty in both.
Sarah:, 00:14:40

Oh, that’s awesome. I love that.

Ashley:, 00:15:52
That really helps me a lot. Especially it’s so practical to be able to really just have that tool to just like, okay, so what’s, what’s, you know, what’s helpful about this? Let’s write about this. That’s beautiful about both things instead of polarity. Very cool. Awesome. You know, it’s like since the beginning of this father’s, this one story that’s in my head, so I guess it’s time to bring that one up. I’m Cassy. There was this one story that you shared about your boys. That changed a lot for me and it was the biggest thing that I got out of it. It was planned at one of your voice had been heard at school and you went to the school and you know, he was, he had gotten hurt at school and what there was, there was a message in the story that really bring a big shift for me and there was something you said about like not buying into the trauma or something like that.
Ashley:, 00:15:55

And I would love if you could talk about that because then of course right afterwards something happened with me and this is so great that I just learned this because I like laughed in a situation instead of Oh my gosh, are you hurt? But I. But I want you to talk about it because I want to know more about what you meant by that and like how we can sort of not go into the trauma when something happens with our kids.

Ashley:, 00:16:50
Yeah, sure. Um, so yeah, my little list to five kindergarten and he went out running and the playground and there was concrete and he tripped and he’s smashed and his lip got like hugely cut and it. And so I get, I go to pick them up because I missed the phone call because it was on a meeting. So bad mom already and I, I’m, I got to the school and my older kid comes up, he’s like, you know, Zach’s in the medical room, you need to go get him. I’m like, whoa. Medical Room. Like right away everything goes cool. That’s pretty big, right? I’m like, okay.
Cassy:, 00:17:12
So I’m like, everything. I’m like, any story that I’m building about this or where I’m trying to like figure it out before I get there. I’m like, just need to move that out and clear that in a way. And then they started walking towards, towards the medical room. And, and then all my mom’s stuff is coming up like, oh my goodness, I should’ve been here. London, like, okay, you’ve got to clear that out. I got to let all that go because I need to be really present here with my kid when I get here. And uh, so then I, I show up and uh, the guy comes up to tell me what occurred and I can see Zach in the background and he’s got blood all up his nose dripping. It was like they didn’t clean them up. It was just everywhere. So it looked like a massacre and his lips swollen.
Cassy:, 00:17:51

Any he’s, he looks like not only did someone steal his best friend, but like I wasn’t there for him. That was the whole, I was like, okay. They listened to all the information and it already started engaging like energetically with Zack. I was like, I’m here, just so you know, I’m here and I’m going to, you know. And that was the first interaction and just by being present, not try to jump into the past. So I’m trying to jump in the future and not trying to fix anything. Just like I’m here. Hi, I’m here. Then he’s like, okay, great, I’m going to go see Zach and I walk up to him and I get down so that we’re eye to eye and I put my hands on him and I’m like “hi”. And again, just like I got to be present. I can’t tell him all the things I should tell him as a mom and it can’t project anything at him.

Cassy:, 00:18:34
Like oh my God, this is awful and you poor you and all these things. I had to just be like, so like really present with what’s going on here, how are you? And he’s like not good and I’m like she wanted to tell me what happened because I wanted to hear from him. So he told me and then I looked at him and I just kept being that I’m here so I didn’t have to fix it. It didn’t have to pull it into me. I didn’t have to feed it and make it bigger or, or blame someone, the school should’ve done this or I should’ve done this. It was just like the more I was being present with him that I actually got that that was having his back greater than anything else I could’ve done, and acknowledging, acknowledging what was up for him, but not, not fitting it and not negating it because I’ve seen parents go, oh, you’re fine in a gate where the kid is right, or like, oh my God, this is awful.
Cassy:, 00:19:23
I can’t button. They feed into it and I was just like really got the sense of like, I just got to be president. I get to acknowledge whatever’s up for him. I can see that. Like, yeah, I can see that. Like he’s like, there’s blood all over me. Wow. I can see that. Not Saying it’s right or wrong, just being with it and it all just started to unravel for him and then he’s like, can we go home? And I’m like, yeah, and actually first like can we go get library books to make sure we’re all bloody whatever. Let’s go to can exchange your library book. Really got in the car and then he just started to kind of unwind from it all and like, tell me more about like all this stuff. And then we just went home and had a cuddle and just diffused brilliantly. Cool. Yeah. And uh, I’m so grateful I have the tools then be in that space. Um, I was raised more like the trauma and like, Oh my God, this is awful. And that’s probably where I would have gone.
Cassy:, 00:20:20
Yeah. And you know, I’m one of the other things you said in there. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I’m so because when you initially had told the story you had written it out. So hearing it with you telling it like this is so cool and it just, it gives me chills. It just, everything you guys talked about just resonates so much with me.
Ashley:, 00:21:19
I had, uh, my parents, um, I had to sort of ask them to ask my son questions when he got hurt instead of telling them he’s okay. So my son would fall and hurt himself and maybe like, you’re okay, you’re okay, And I was l was like please, please can we just consider asking him, you know, you fall and it appears like you’re actually, my son sometimes falls on his head purposely like he means to do it and he wants that deep input. So it’s like he’s not actually heard. He actually did that purposely. Like that was like the what is required at that time. And he’s like, yeah, I’m like, cool. He knows. And so now when he’s really hurt, he’s faster to tell us he’s hurt because we give them the space to ask him the question. So, so many cool nuggets from that. Thank you so much.
Ashley:, 00:21:44
Um, so Sarah, I want to ask you about, uh, what, uh, another thing that you have brought up that really, really helped me so much is you talked about, you’ve talked quite a few times about allowance of like your in laws where they have projections or ideas or when they want to tell you how to do something. I’ve, I’ve had this a lot and I was like not an allowance of it. I would like shut down and so I listened to some of the ways you are so in allowance and so present and can you talk about how the people listening, how make you feel a little bit more available when people are needing to tell us how to do things when they think they know it’s right there way more than our way. What do we do?
Ashley:, 00:22:31
so. I haven’t always been brilliant at it and it’s not just, let’s just put it that way.
Sarah:, 00:23:18
That’s just what’s coming up.
Ashley:, 00:23:23
No, I’m just saying like, we all have ’em influences or people who want to tell you, I mean with the grocery store and someone’s telling you not to talk to your kid that way or whatever. So brilliant tool with access is “interesting point of view. I have this point of view”, or “interesting point of view”. They have this point of view and um, you can kind of go to that and be like, okay, cool. Like I don’t. And what that actually, um, I don’t know how often that’s explained all the way through, but what that actually does is it takes you out of alignment and agreement or resistance and reaction. So it looks sometimes when someone’s coming at you with advice, friendly advice or the how to, of something that the kind thing to do is to align and agree, right, that they are not put off and what your, your knowing is that you want to resist and react.
Sarah:, 00:23:25
But what, what does that tell you? Right there is that it looks like there’s only two choices – align and agree or resist and react, but there’s this other space that you can be with anything and it looks a lot like just nodding your head and smiling and thinking them. Um, but knowing that you don’t, you not only do, you not have to choose what they’re offering, you can go into acknowledgement if there’s anything good in what they’re offering. Because sometimes like there’s in 100 percent, there’s 20 percent that you can use that you can be like, okay, cool. I can take that and do that my way. But if you’re in resistance and reaction, you will actually get that 20 percent, um, and you, so you can go into acknowledgement of that and then you can acknowledge where, whether you choose to take any of the advice or whatever has been given to you, um, is your choice and you’re, you don’t like what your mom had told you. Like why are you giving them power over you? Like you don’t actually have to be subject to any of their judgment or create from that space or so there’s that, that time when you’re like, okay, if I do it this way, then all these people will be happy. But who, who’s not happy in a lot of times it’s you and having the awareness of that, what you’re pigeon holding, holding you, your family, your kids, all that into, in order to create a reality that’s comfortable for someone else.
Sarah:, 00:24:14
It doesn’t end up working out. So if you’re like aware of that part of that being a possibility, you can actually go, okay, cool. Interesting way Behind the point of view. Is there anything here that I can create with if there’s not cool? Like nod your head, thank them for their time and their effort and their end and acknowledged where it’s coming, where it’s coming from to. So my in-laws are they, they love us so much. They love the kids so much. They my husband is apple of their eye and I know that have total gratitude for me as well, so nothing that they’re telling me is I’m coming from an unkind place or a desire to hurt me or my kids or have me be an unsuccessful mom. It’s the points of view and the very strong cultural points of view that they have and acknowledged and like being aware of where someone’s coming from when they’re delivering. That’s like, okay cool. That totally work for you and you don’t necessarily have to worry like say it out loud but this totally worked for you. And that was a different time, a different place, a different culture, a different reality and whatever. And I’m going to choose for me
Sarah:, 00:25:34
Culturally I’m thinking about how I grew up in a Greek family and I married a Greek man and also so we have integrates everywhere and there’s like heavy guilt and I’ve been worried and I learned while I was growing up that like, and my sweet, amazing kind mother also really believes that you’re not really good mom for not like worrying. And so like have you seen this? If you see this with other people?
Ashley:, 00:26:43
Oh you pretend to worry! Where are you not willing to manipulate? I am married to an Italian family and I’m 39 years old and if I’m getting on a flight like across town, like my mother in law often will still call me because of the imminent danger that I am in. She wants to make sure she says goodbye. It’s not like I know you might die, but I’m like, I know she knows I’m getting on a plane right now and her way of showing me love. And so if, if I’m sitting having coffee with her and she knows something that’s going on with like my 20 year old daughter or my 17 year old son and, or the little girls to whatever, I’m have a 10 year old, six year old as well. Um, and I see the worry in our world and she’s checking in with me. Like I’ve also been like, I know, right?
Sarah:, 00:27:12
Because I don’t have to line into greater resistance. That’s not me aligning. Agreeing. It’s like, okay cool, what does she need to hear, you know? And that’s not manipulation thing and people can, can take manipulation in that word and like totally tweak and twist it and make you an awful person. But if she knew that I was also concerned and worried, she’s actually less worried. So it’s actually a con. Like she’s less worried that I’m not worried in that. Do you know what I’m saying? So it might actually contribute either. So like wherever you’re not willing to just be like, okay, cool. And a role with this, like what? What’s required right now in this 10 seconds. And right now she needs to know that like I’ve got, I’ve got it handled, I’m covering the worry, the worry angle. It got the worry corner covered. You don’t have to worry as much. I’m in the house, I’ll worry for you. We’re good.
Sarah:, 00:27:59
But it’s brilliant. It’s so amazing and honestly like so. So tell me if, if you’re getting the same thing, I feel like that’s a kindness to her and so okay, so this is something I find so, so, so fascinating that a lot of us have a really clear definition of what kindness looks like and what it is and how you can be when you’re being kind. But I have found that sometimes it’s been really intense and sometimes it’s being really soft and there’s a lot of space and maybe more than a lot of space, like tons and tons of space with unkindness. So can you, can you pick up from there and talk a little bit about that, how diverse kindness can be?
Ashley:, 00:28:43
Um, yes. Oh my goodness. So, you know, um, I don’t have a ton of rules at my house, like we’re, we’re pretty like asking questions every 10 seconds. That’s kind of how we roll and um, and I, I also don’t allow my don’t choose to be a doormat to my kids, if that makes sense. So there’s times they actually happened on this weekend I was with my sister and there’s times where I, like my, my five year old was running around the parking lot, not being aware at all and it was like, like busy traffic and Annette and I said the kid ran up and I, I yelled intensity. I was like, stop right now. And he didn’t listen. I’m like, you stopped writing. And I had this huge intensity and it wasn’t like. So my parents would yell at me. It had anger and a rawness to it. Like it was like, I’m mad at you because you’re wrong. And I was like, no way in my world. Was He wrong?
Cassy:, 00:29:35

It was, you will stop because I’m demanding that you stop right now because I care so much about your body and your not paying attention to that intensity came out and flooded his face, dropped and then it came over him. And then total gentle voice. And look, this is the situation, this is what was going on. Can you look around getting him to face of awareness and, and so there was nothing but kindness in my world when I was yelling at him with full intensity and truly and um, yeah, so where are we, where I almost want like all the listeners, like where have you been that and not acknowledged that that’s the place that you were coming from because when often like growing up, we look at those places where we’ve been, um, we’ve seen something directed at us and there’s been a lack of kindness. So then we assume that that means lack of kindness. We label it, right? So then when that shows like, we don’t ever want to do that or be that to our kids because we always want to be kind.

Cassy:, 00:30:35

But we, what we ended up doing is cutting off all these other energies available and all this of the contribution you can be available. So I totally resonate with what you’re saying, Ashley. Like the different levels of kindness. It can show up in so many ways. It kindness is letting your kids fail. It’s letting your kids fall down and being like, I got your back. Sarah has actually a really cool story. Would you share that about you Steven? And like giving him the keys to his life. I love that.

Cassy:, 00:31:47

Yeah. I was a helicopter mom for a few years. It wasn’t really working. I’m had to acknowledge that being a helicopter mom and kind of micromanaging certain areas of my kid’s life, um, that it wasn’t a kindness because I was actually preventing him from doing it. And it was also a space where I was choosing from… A lot of times we see our children as a reflection if us. So if they’re doing well, they’re, like I said, if they’re well dressed but together don’t have snot coming out of their nose and dirt and whatever. Then we look like we’ve got it together, right. So I am aware now that this, a lot of the space that I was coming from with my son and raising him and like micromanaging him with grades in school and his future and all that. I’m had a lot to do with me.

Sarah:, 00:32:31
It’s even to say it right now and knowing other people other than the two of you are going to hear that it’s, it’s like vulnerable because like Gosh, like where I could then go to judgment of like what did I do to my kid about me because I couldn’t see that it was a choice that I was making about me, but as soon as I acknowledged it, I was like, okay, I have to give him back the keys to his life. Like I can’t and I don’t. I never intended to drive the bus forever, but it was almost like, okay, as long as you get to college. I had this like benchmark. If you get to college and you’re in the college you want to go to and that’s what your target is, then I’ve done a good job and I can move on to these other two. Right. Um, last year, last year was a sophomore. It was the end of his freshman year of high school and I was the mom that was checking the website everyday, like seeing where if you turn in his homework and like where’s grade was at so that I could remind him where his grade was that because I have somewhere I decided that he didn’t know.
Sarah:, 00:33:29
Well, he didn’t know. And you want to know why? It’s because I was checking I was going to tell him so he didn’t know that. Not Turning in a paper or not retaking a quiz. Dropped his grade a full letter grade. He didn’t have, he didn’t have that awareness because I was the one being like, you’re at a b now. Okay. Oh you want to be back in the day? You got to do blah blah, blah. You want to be, you know, whatever. And um, so somewhere around his freshman year ish, I, um, he’s a junior now just finishing his junior year this week. Um, I just literally was like, okay, I need to talk to you. Come on over. I was like, what’s your target? What do you want to be like, what do you want me to grow up? But not from a space of like, like you can be anything like, do you, do you still want to go to college if you don’t, like what do you want to choose, do you whatever.
Sarah:, 00:34:20
He gave me a list and I was like, Hey, do you know what it takes? And he said, no. I was like, okay, well first off, even graduate high school and you need to get into college, but what I want you to do is go research that career and I want you to go find out what college actually you want to attend to achieve that target because we need to get a plan going. And he’s like, okay. So he did that. He came back to him. I was like, okay, now what are the, um, entry like the GPA that you require to even apply to this college. Okay, cool. Where are we at now? All right, cool. You got your roadmap here, the keys. And I said, I’m not checking grades anymore. I’m not going to stay up late night doing projects and it’s going to be up to you. So the day that you graduate you will know you did it to. I didn’t drive the bus for you, you know, you did it, you created it. And if you don’t, you’ll know you did that too.
Sarah:, 00:35:02
And you all look back at me and say like, mom, why didn’t you do the, a, b or c for me? And since then he has been a more determined student. He’s been more dedicated to, to the targets of his future and what he wants to create for his life. He’s had no judgment of me. Like it’s almost like when he didn’t turn something in, it would be like, well mom, you ____ and whatever is the end of that sentence is, you know, and he’s still scared to leave home for some reason. I’m trying to get them out, but just kidding. I’m going to be a huge mess on my boy leaves, but I won’t be. I’ll be fine. I have Cassy. I’ll call her everyday. He is so dedicated and he is like this week parenting story to add onto this and if I’m running on I’m.
Sarah:, 00:35:49
I get a call and mother’s Day, Mother’s Day on a Sunday from a teacher telling me that Steven, he caught my son cheating on a test was like, okay, what is, what is catching him look like?
Sarah:, 00:36:42
And he said, first of all, I did not align and agree with the teacher just because he’s an adult because a lot of parents do that and I did not go into defense of my son. I just asked a question. I was like, Hey, what is catching someone cheating look like? He’s like, well, he was staring off towards another kid’s paper long enough to have it looked like he was cheating. I was like, okay, cool. Thank you. I said, thank you for the information. I will talk to my son later. We were at the dinner table with all the family and I will talk to my son later and I will get. I will reach back out to you if I have any further questions. He said, okay, thank you for listening.
Sarah:, 00:36:56
So I talked to my son? My son, mom, I, I’ve never cheated. I don’t cheat. I was like, I know that about you. Okay. Let’s be clear. Like did something happen that week that you didn’t, you weren’t prepared and you’ve done all this work and now this one time, like you made a choice that we have to look at. He’s like, mom, I don’t cheat in. My son led me. He’s like, mom. He’s like, I’m. What is it? He goes, I’m nearsighted. Is that what that means? He can’t see far away, whatever. I have perfect vision so I’ve never had glasses. He goes, mom. He’s like the where the desks are even spaced out in the small print of the paper. He’s like, there’s no way I could’ve even stared off into that that long enough or even like focused enough to get an answer. He’s like, and I took all my notes.
Sarah:, 00:37:27
It was an open note test. He was like, all my notes are on the back of the paper. Like he had all these things but it wasn’t from a place of like just fenced. It was kind of like, this is so silly. This helicopter mom would’ve done. Normally it would have been like, I’m calling this teacher, we are going to go have a meeting. He is going to hear my boy, my boy is going to be exonerated from all charges like I and I felt all that come up and I was like, no, what’s the the choice here? And I was like, oh, I gave him the keys three years ago. Okay Buddy, what do you want to do to create, what do you want to do with this? Like, what would you require from me? Do you want, I have your back. What do you require from me? He said, you don’t want them to handle it.
Sarah:, 00:38:10
I can’t tell you like the tiers, the, all this stuff was like, I didn’t do that in front of him and I was like, okay, cool. I’m proud of you. And then I went to my room and like proud. But he did. He went into the teacher. You’ve followed him around on his break that day because like, I need to talk to you, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. He was like, well, I saw what I saw. I was like, okay, cool. Are you willing to talk to me? Can we sit down and can you hear me? And he pestered the teacher every day on the nutrition break. He found the guy, this class, like I would walk to get coffee and he would follow him and they he would follow him back he did that everyday last week until the teacher sat down, had a meeting with them, heard him and he got the credit for the test. Does that not have happened if I went crazy, you know, and all my defenses wanted to… and I asked the question “what I want to create here?”. And um, it’s changed a lot. So thank you for asking me to tell that story, Cassy. I added onto it and now it was a really long story, but I hope you enjoyed it.
Sarah:, 00:38:49
And I’m just thinking about how many opportunities I now had just opened up as a question out of curiosity when a teacher or someone is watching my child or a nanny or babysitter or whatever, like they did this and instead of just like aligning and agreeing or believing it or just going into like, oh, they must’ve done something wrong or defending, you know, for my child against that person. Like, oh, what does that look like? What did, what did you see? What did you experience like. Because as soon as you started telling me what he just sort of was like looking around like, oh gosh, like I don’t know that I would’ve thought in that moment to just simply be in space and curiosity like that to get more information. That’s so cool. So, and everything else that your story is cool too, but that really, really stuck with me. Thank you for that. That’s so cool. Um, so okay. So what else, what else are you really. Would you love for people to know about I Am Beauty with Parenting, like what else really lights you up about this movement that you’re doing this? What’s been really fun for you?
Ashley:, 00:39:49
Uh, I’ll start on that one. Um, when, when I’m so okay. Really excited. I would love to invite people to create with their kids. Yeah. And like this is a weird concept because I, I was never, I never saw this growing up. I never got to create with my parents and that was just. And then I never really saw anyone do it and the audience of these tools and access consciousness and asking questions, I started to really get the huge contribution my two little boys are too, my whole life and living and, and that I can be to them. And then I started to look at it as like, wow. So I’m like somehow we’ve created these three powerhouses. What, what would it look like if we created together? And it was. And it started with like three years ago. I chose the two separate from my partner and the kids were very little and I, I asked them, okay, like, like, where would you like to live? Like this just starting, this is where we just started to create our lives. Like what would that, what would that be like, what, what are your asks for our new space and um, the asks we’re like a giant backyard and like all these kids in the neighborhood and like all these things, right. And then they’re like, what would you.
Cassy:, 00:40:59
Uh, I’ll start on that one. Um, when, when I’m so okay. Really excited. I would love to invite people to create with their kids. Yeah. And like this is a weird concept because I, I was never, I never saw this growing up. I never got to create with my parents and that was just. And then I never really saw anyone do it and the audience of these tools and access consciousness and asking questions, I started to really get the huge contribution my two little boys are too, my whole life and living and, and that I can be to them. And then I started to look at it as like, wow. So I’m like somehow we’ve created these three powerhouses. What, what would it look like if we created together? And it was. And it started with like three years ago. I chose the two separate from my partner and the kids were very little and I, I asked them, okay, like, like, where would you like to live? Like this just starting, this is where we just started to create our lives. Like what would that, what would that be like, what, what are your asks for our new space and um, the asks we’re like a giant backyard and like all these kids in the neighborhood and like all these things, right. And then they’re like, what would you.
Cassy:, 00:40:59
So I sort of playing with the energy, like what I would like to create or what I would like to see there and all these things and who ends up showing up a week before we have to move. We have no place to live for. I’m like, and then a week before, not only everything we asked for showed up but greater than we had ever imagined it could. And in really like a, like such a miraculous way that it was like, it was crafted for us. So I started to look at that. I’m like, well if we could do that, what else can we do?
Cassy:, 00:42:28
So we looked at like, even as simple as it’s the weekends, I don’t go, okay, well I’ve got this to do list, they’re going to drag my kids around, we might throw in a play date just to like, you know, give them something to do. I look at, it’s their weekend too, it’s my weekend, it’s their weekend. Like it’s, it’s. So we start, we have our conversation sometimes it’s Friday night, sometimes Saturday morning. Okay. So what, like what would you like to get out of this weekend? And there’ll be like blah blah blah, like all this creation. And then I’m like, okay, like can I let you know what I want to get out of this weekend? And sometimes it’s like a lot of fun. I’m like, I really want to do this with you guys. Or sometimes like actually have some chores today. I kinda gotta do this. I gotta do that. And then so what, what occurs when we start to go into this energy of co-creation and then. So the whole theme of the weekend starts to unravel in this way where we’re having each other’s back and making sure that everyone’s getting their asks and then sometimes there’s a little reminder like, oh, I’m a little disagreements going on between the two.
Cassy:, 00:42:59
And I was like, yeah, but do you remember like senator asked for this? And then Zach’s like, right, okay, we go into the space. So I’m like, and, and that’s just so small compared to what I know is possible. Like I get it. It’s huge. It’s like, what if like what you create now cultivates this giant future like 10 years down the road with your kids. Yeah. So it like, and I love even like Sarah’s, the conversation with her and like, what, what are your targets for your future? The whole time she wasn’t, she wasn’t in, here’s the keys, I’m separating from you. Goodbye. Here’s your future. She was like, okay, cool. I get what you’re looking at. Like I’m here, I have your back, I’m going to buy. And at the same time you’re going to, you’re going to be the driver of the bus. And so I start to look at that like where we could have independent lives and create a future together. So that’s kind of like a bizarre concept I guess. But that’s something that I would love to have more conversations about an invite to people’s universe.
Cassy:, 00:43:59
So Cassy, do you also, um, invite your kids to be co-creators and your business?
Ashley:, 00:45:08
I do actually! That’s so funny that you brought that up! My kids are brilliant. They blow my mind. I was having this conversation with Zander or sometimes we like it before bed is when we have our most brilliant conversation. They actually started going, hey, so do you have any awareness of like what would it take to get more people to register for this upcoming class we have going on in Sarasota? And he like kind of taps in the energy and he’s wondering about it. And he’s like, you know, mom, I think like it’s already created. Like it’s just, you’ve got to let it show up. And I was like, oh, that’s really light, that’s cool. And then he goes, and then he’s like, reach out to your friends and let them know. It’s going to be a blast. Never heard him use the word blast. He’s like mom, it’s going to be a blast.
Cassy:, 00:45:25
I’m always inviting their awareness. I’m like, what do you guys know about this? And then once they, they are tapping into that energy, they’re contributing to it. And then I also love to invite them to like, they like to travel with me. They bring them to a certain classes and at this conference I’m making connections that I’m meeting people. They will make connections and like, yeah, and they will bring people like connect them to me. So like I really get this co-creation of a business going and they, they’re very aware of like, um, the greater, like I succeed the business succeeds the more wealth that we have, their benefit of that. So like they’re as invested in it as I am invested in it. They’ll create space man like, hey guys, you know what? Like I need a Mac store your home today. I really need to do this telecall or this whatever. I’m like, is that cool? We work with me. And they’re like, of course, because they are just as like, it’s important to them because they get what it is creating for us in our future. So thank you for bringing that up. That’s, that’s, um, I love playing with that with my kids then I think that’ll just grow and grow as they get older.
Cassy:, 00:46:19
That’s so cool. And I’m wondering too, if you could talk about either one of you who wants to pick this up is sort of almost like hear in my ears. Some people who might be listening might be wondering, well how do they know that you making money, it’s going to actually create more for your lives. Like it doesn’t always look like logically they understand that this creates this and this timeline. So like for some people who might be saying, but I don’t know if my kids really get that are really know that like, and they’re not really like maybe acknowledging how amazing with they could be big kids, little kids. But can you talk about how aware our kids are?
Ashley:, 00:47:30
Oh, I’m happy to restart something popping for you.
Cassy:, 00:48:10
Give like a pragmatic tool for that. So, um, yeah, like I,
Sarah:, 00:48:17
I really look at my kids as huge, infinite beings with little bodies. I don’t talk to them like they’re kids except for maybe the language that he uses different, if that makes sense. So if I was to have a complex business conversation with someone and about like strategies and all this stuff and all these, like a buzz word, I wouldn’t use that with them because then I’ll spend all my time explain the. It’s because they’re very curious. What does that mean? What does that mean? Does that mean. But when I look at like, um, so if I’m having a conversation like, okay, um, so if more people come to the class then when we get their registration money, right, so they paid for the class, so then that increases our wealth, right? They get that. It’s like, they get the, they get the, the exchange.
Cassy:, 00:48:25
Does that make sense? Money for toys, like they exchange and we play with that too. Like I let them pay for things. Like I let them, they will sometimes run my bars and I’ll pay the money. Love the big. Yeah, they get it and like my, someone actually asked him a Zander to run the seven year old to run bars at an access class and they paid him 50 bucks. That meant a lot to him. Like it really. So they’re really getting the exchange. Even the five-year-old I’m looking at like, what would you like in exchange for this? We exchange sometimes money, sometimes we exchange other things so they understand the exchange. So then when I’m explaining like, okay cool, so if we can draw in more people than, than our income increases. I’m like, but also if we draw in more people and um, basically consciousness increases and they, they, this sounds crazy because how could a five year old understand increase of consciousness?
Cassy:, 00:49:19
How is that even possible? And what one thing we do is we do the heavy and light was number one tool. So anything that’s late for you is true. Anything that has heavy for you is there’s something in it that’s not true or the whole thing is not true. And so, I mean, as I said, we don’t do a lot of rules. We live in the question. So I’m always asking them and they have to go from heavy to light. I’m like, please don’t use your brain, can you please, can you use your awareness here? Like is that actually light? And then so we play with that. So then as we talk about expanding consciousness, they get a sense of that based on the light and heavy. And also, sorry, I feel like I’m dropping three stories into one because I’m really excited. Like we talk about like, like Zander just had this big thing about like the planet and earth and all this stuff and he comes home with like, you know, we get a cycle and we got all these things and all wrong things that we’re doing is like, yeah.
Cassy:, 00:50:10
And I’m like, and what do you think would occur if the consciousness on the planet got grew? And he was like, I let them look at it, I don’t give them the answer. And he was like, whoa. And then I’m like, what would occur with the planet? What would occur with pollution? What would occur? And he’s like, well I get people would probably not do it as much simple. It’s maybe more simplified, but it’s like he does have it. He gets that sense. So when I’m like more people come to the classes, consciousness expands. We get to be that gift in the world. They’re like, sign me up. Oh my gosh. I love. And just the sense of their enthusiasm shows me that they get it, even if it’s not complete cognitive ABCD. Yeah, totally. I’d love to hear what Sarah has to say too.
Cassy:, 00:51:04
if you want your kids to know about money, going to talk to them about it and um, where money comes from, what it contributes to our lives, what we can choose as a family, what we can choose individually. Um, I didn’t come from that at all growing up and I also didn’t start out my journey as a parent 20 years ago. Um, knowing that I should talk to my kids about it. It was Kinda like they’d ask for something and I’d either say yes or no, like, or, or we can’t afford it right now or we can. It wasn’t a conversation about like what hours it went in to create what we just bought and like stuff like that. And so there was a time when, um, I remember the first, like kind of weird conversation with my son was over a pair of tennis shoes and I jokingly said to him, um, those shoes actually cost me three haircuts and three haircuts costs me three hours and three hours.
Sarah:, 00:52:07
And so I went down like this and I was kind of joking, but I saw his like, wait a minute, you worked three hours for me to have this pair of shoes. And it just like started linking something you got. And I was like, oh, he doesn’t know that. Like, because money grows on trees, it’s in the books. And, and um, I remember even funny story, um, I think it was my son. I was younger. I was like, I can’t, we can’t get that because I don’t have the money. He’s like, well, just go to that machine and put in those, push those buttons. It gives you money, mom. And I’m like, oh my God, like, so and yeah, I don’t remember anybody sitting me down and telling me you didn’t grow on trees. I just one day had to get a job, you know? So being willing to have the conversations if you actually want your kids to have those awarenesses, like Cassy said, like she’s having conversations about everything with their kids, asking them questions, making them aware, talking to them like they’re infinite beings.
Sarah:, 00:53:00
Um, uh, one of the analogies I give people when regards to parenting with acknowledging that your kids are infinite beings is, um, you know, when you’re like, you’re, you’ve been at a job for awhile and they like hire someone new, right? And they say, Hey, can you train the new guy? The new guys is just new. He doesn’t know what, you know, you’ve been there longer. You’re not better than him. You’re not, you know, guaranteed a greater future or what, you know what I mean? It’s just that this guy needs to know how to work the register. And so what if, for those of you who’ve worked retail but, but the, the kids that are children are infinite beings, so they come to us in these little bodies and yes, we need to like train the little bodies and help them understand things and know that’s hot, that’s not, you know, don’t run out in the street and get run over by a bus and acknowledging their very being, um, and not like Cassy said, not talking down to them, but communicating on a level that they can receive at that time and that will increase and grow.
Sarah:, 00:53:52
Like I said, the beginning, I have a 20 year old and I have a six year old and I have a 10 year old, a 17 year old in between. So I’ve kind of done the, the span of like baby to adult already. And that, those relationships change constantly if you let them. And if you don’t hold your kid into like the little baby because then you lose them because they’re like constantly having to resist and react that to have themselves in their own life. Um, and you can tie it back into that creation conversation. Um, you have the conversations with their kids about anything money, um, anything creative, like you can do that by starting now to have the conversations and not be afraid to like bridge those topics.
Sarah:, 00:54:55
And like some of the coolest conversations I’ve had with my kids have been about sex and they’re just, there’s no point of view on the table. It’s just like, okay, cool, what does that choice going to create and what is that going to create and what do you want to see is your future and does that create for the relationship? And like what, like stuff like that I’m crazy stuff has shown up. That might be another topic for another time.
Sarah:, 00:55:35
I’m having them back! I’ve never heard anyone say the coolest discussions I’ve added my kids was about sex… that’s incredible. What an amazing capacity and I think you started off this call by telling us, you basically realize there’s something a little bit different about the way you function with your kids and with kids in general probably. And that might be one of them really awesome capacity that you have. I want to know about it. So yeah. Okay. All right. Some other time, but so brilliant. That’s so cool. And honestly even just bringing it up, just sort of like set something off like, oh, well that’s possible for that to not be like super awkward and uncomfortable like that could be like awesome. Wow. Cool.
Ashley:, 00:56:05
That might be a fun side side Convo for another chat.
Sarah:, 00:56:48
I’m game for anything, so yeah, we’ll know when it’s time. Um, so Sarah, is there anything that you really like to talk about? Is there anything you know, that you just really excited about? What this I am beauty with parenting or even I am beauty movement that you’re doing. Like what, what are you excited about?
Ashley:, 00:56:53
So many things.
Sarah:, 00:57:15
So open-ended. Sorry.
Ashley:, 00:57:17
So I’m gonna I’m gonna take you on a dive really quick. Can get a little heavy for just like, and then we’re going to go back up. Last week my son’s high school, there was, I, I’m a third suicide of a teenager and I looked at that and um, sorry I’m going to get back up. I’m going to get it back up right now. Um, my, my, the way my son internalized it and the way that he was looking at, um, how that, that choice doesn’t necessarily have to be a wrong choice if that was what the child shows, um, what was right about it, but what, what could have been putting their world about their unique gift that they be and the beauty that they be, the unique, like I’ll call it, like footprint that they came to is that had they known that would they have chosen something different and it’s also possible that they’re passing, like, created this awesome ripple effect among the students as well.
Sarah:, 00:57:20
So it’s, I’m not trying to go to the wrongness of it or the sadness or whatever, but um, when it comes to I Am Beauty, right away we’re having people come up to me like you need to get this in schools and teachers playing with some of the challenges and stuff in their classrooms and such. So because we’re talking about parents and we’re talking about mad like the tie for me and that is, um, I tell my girls and my son everyday without fail, sometimes twice, three times a day that annoys them, how beautiful they are. And I’m not just talking about their character because their characters are awesome, dynamic, beautiful.
Sarah:, 00:58:24
I’m acknowledging their outer beauty, acknowledging them every day for like I tell my girl is like, did you have a beautiful you are? And they’re like, mom, you know, um, but they, my 10 year old, um, has just recently started to fully receive that because she would, it’s not that she would like point out something that was wrong like a lot of us adults do to stop it. My Butt’s too big or whatever. Right? Um, but she, she would keep it a little bit of a distance from it because I think she acknowledged, she was aware of where if I acknowledged that I’m beautiful, I’ll have to, like, other people will separate from me. I’m having her get to see that she can be that. And she made that kind and that much of a contribution to those around her and acknowledge her beauty at 10. Like we’re at 10.
Sarah:, 00:59:02
No, she’s not going to be railroaded later. Like she, she owns her in a different way. And when kids start to look at that, there’s less impelled points of view that can get at them in regards to the bullying stuff. So each of these kids that took their lives, um, mentioned bullying, um, as the reason why. And while, well, I’d love to say that like we need to address the bullies. Um, a lot of times it’s the, it can be, it can change sooner at home with, with how we treat our kids that are, feel the need to bully or um, the kids that are receiving of the bullying, if they had that awareness of their beauty, um, I don’t know that the bullying would stick and create such an impact. So that for me, um, is a huge target for what we’d love to create with I AM Beauty with children.
Sarah:, 00:59:49
Let me know how I can help. Seriously, I would love to help you however I can. That is something that, you know, one of the biggest, you know, I, I put myself out there helping highly sensitive people, highly aware of people, right? And they are very prone to being bullied, you know, it’s just, it’s oftentimes what I hear. And so I love so much that you touched upon this because I think this is hitting the heart. So much of what so many people, so many other fabulous people that have interviewed like you guys, um, they’ve told me that as kids, you know, they were highly aware and so they were bullied. I mean, this is just so common that I hear this, so I love that you’re addressing this and I would love to address it so much more. And again, I mean it’s like we have these little little snippets here that could be such big topics and um, life changing, and the word you used just like a ripple effect. Um, when we, when we really empower people to, to know how to handle these situations and get them tools because there aren’t a lot of. I haven’t experienced a lot of people having a lot of awareness about how to handle those bullying situations. So anything else you want to say about that?
Ashley:, 01:00:43
I would just say that a lot of the focus on how to change bullying goes about the bullying. What was wrong with the bullet was wrong with the bully at home. Um, what an end and that. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but if we’ve all, we all, okay, you guys, we all have that girlfriend who like, like insults or like, you know, comments about their care, their character, their looks or whatever. Like it’s like water off a duck’s back. They’re like whatever. Because she owns her. Ain’t nobody gonna take her down, you know, whatever. Or we’ve all witnessed that person and I’m just talking about creating that, that energy, that confidence and not from a place of arrogance or separation, but at confidence in our kids when they’re young, that when those things get thrown at them, it doesn’t actually have to stick. It doesn’t have to to create a wound and not to say that it won’t make a dent and then they’d have to kind of like work through it, but if they have a knowing from day one, their parents, the people around them told them what a gift and how beautiful they were and they told them every single day when those things hit, It’s not as, as, as impactful or as heavy or um, to the, to the despair that bullying can take other kids.
Sarah:, 01:02:08
And so what I’m talking about was yes, let’s look at what’s going on with our kids who are choosing to bully and be unkind and let’s also build up these over here so that when that comes up, that’s actually the thing that, that doesn’t fit. It’s like all of these things are just like the other one of them (how does that song go?) So one of those, one of these things is not like that when, I’m doing it wrong, when that stands out, so like not becomes the odd behavior and not the thing that you have to get behind. Because we all know that like when bullying is happening or when we’re kids like you look like, okay, if I just stay friends with the bullying, maybe I won’t get bullied or if I backed the bully this one time or if I kind of can’t turn a blind eye, then I won’t be the target and kids are dancing around ever being a target. But if there’s a, a, a sea of children who rise up and like, no, like we’re valuable. You don’t get to treat us like that. We have our own backs, we have each other’s backs and that’s what’s going to change the balance. The balance will start to change is what I’m aware of.
Sarah:, 01:03:20
There’s one other thing I really want to point out in case people didn’t hear it because it was so cool. Is there when you said that you were telling your son and your daughter every day that they’re beautiful. You also said, I asked them, do you know how beautiful you are? And I feel like that allows them to question, do I know how beautiful I am, and get into that space of not just receiving a compliment, but like owning it. Like, do I know how beautiful… it’s so cool. And that is something that anyone who’s listening can do right away. You can start asking out of curiosity, do you know how beautiful you are, do you know how amazing you are… every day. And allow them to start to become, you know, in a place of wonder, like maybe or know of that today. But that’s so cool.
Ashley:, 01:04:21
Thank you for acknowledging that. And I’ll tell you, That choice what the I saw that create, um, when I was telling my kids when they were little, like, you’re so beautiful. It was very easy to kind of be like, oh yeah, because we all do are really good at like the deflection in just what you pointed out. Ashley is like asking the question actually has to take them into their awareness. And what I was talking about with my 10 year old is because it’s been a question all these years, I’ve actually watched her receiving like, expand exponentially with um. Oh Gosh, like, so I got to this place of how do I know how beautiful I am and maybe I hit like on the Richter scale of six, right? But then somewhere like months later I look at her and there’s like a big 10 smile, like we got up there, you know, we’re just, we just keep growing because that question puts her, like you said, into wonderment and um, it, it allows a space for that to grow because it’s not measured by what I think is beautiful. When someone gives you a compliment that you’re beautiful. It’s because they’re judging you. Good, good or bad. It’s a judgement, right? Um, by what their projection of beautiful is. And so it’s actually having her acknowledged maybe even more than what I’m willing to see or what I, what I see. I don’t see her everyday and where she thinks things are beautiful or she thinks she’s beautiful….knows she’s beautiful.
Sarah:, 01:05:12
I mean…constant chillbumps here! I’m excited for people to hear this. Cassy, you want to say something? …Or maybe it was said job. So we are pretty much at the end here. So I’d love to sort of finish up by just asking if you could give a word of encouragement to the viewers and um, and then I’ll ask you my last question.
Ashley:, 01:06:35
Um, it just comes back to like, what if you’re not wrong?
Cassy:, 01:07:12
Yeah.
Sarah:, 01:07:19
What if every time you’ve ever messed up or said the wrong thing or judge yourself or didn’t show up for the phone call, what if you’re actually not wrong? And what if everything that’s occurred up until now it was just to get you here. And it’s like, what’s possible that you haven’t even considered yet? And, and even even the people that love themselves and like I’m great at parenting is really fun. And what else is possible even beyond that?
Cassy:, 01:07:21
Yeah. I would love to give a quote by someone very, very magical. And you all may know her, but I’m going to this quote. I had to make a meme of it this week because my brilliant girl, Cassy, said some really brilliant stuff. And so a meme is, is generated if someone says something very brilliant. So anyways, this week “you can’t get it wrong, wrong as an invention. You also can’t get it right, you can just be you” and so everywhere you’re trying to be someone else. As a parent, we would ask you to destroy and uncreate that and let that go and move, move to the space out of you as a parent and the unique gifts that you be that no one else anywhere in any time space, dimension has ever been before, and just go into choosing an acknowledgement of view, acknowledgement of the gift that you’d be to your kids and that they be to you and always choose from that space and not the wrongness.
Sarah:, 01:08:00
No wonder you guys got 4,000 people like this who wouldn’t want to just hang out with you guys and feel so good. It’s like, Oh wow, I can be me….and there’s no wrongness. That’s really cool. So I will include links to contact you on all of your different social media, websites and everything, but please share with everyone how they can stay in touch with you and if there are any next steps to take with you.
Ashley:, 01:09:05
I’ll do next steps. Do you want to do contact stuff?
Sarah:, 01:09:35
I think probably Facebook is a really great way. Um, we’re on it a lot or we’re very social, we love interacting with people. So you can message us. We have a couple Facebook pages Sassy is one. Um, that’s kind of what we, you know, Sarah says it the best, but Sarah + Cassy = Sassy. So we started a business called Sassy and from that we branched out, #IAmBeauty, but we also have an #IAmBeauty Facebook page, we have the identity movement, knees if you’re at all, like drawn to it join. We have a fun events in there all the time and um, we’d love to have you there and get to know you and interact with you. Yeah, I think that’s probably the best, easiest, most fun way to get in touch with us.
Cassy:, 01:09:39
End of May, right now. So if you’re listening to this in the future, I liked calendaring for where we are now because I’ve also listened to calls and then been like, it’s next week and it’s like three years ago.
Sarah:, 01:10:30
2018
Ashley:, 01:10:30
June of 2018, the 22nd 23rd, 24th, 25th in Sarasota, Florida. We’ll be doing a foundation class, which is, um, one of the prereq classes for access consciousness. Um, and while in Sarasota we’ll also be doing an #IAmBeauty taster night, um, which is the Friday night of that class. It’s a two hour taster of a manual that we’ve written from all of the awareness and stuff that came up through the #IAmBeauty movement challenge. Um, and we’ve facilitated that a number of times and it’s always different and so unique and so yummy and such a contribution and kids come, teenagers come. It’s awesome. Um, so that’ll be in Sarasota, Florida. And then …
Sarah:, 01:10:51
Can I add that one will be live streamed as well? So the communist era, so did just won’t work for you. You can just catch us online and we, we interact with you the whole time. You’re on zoom like this. When you get to see you, you could ask questions and we have someone kind of like being your point person so you can join us.
Cassy:, 01:11:42
And then, um, in July, 11th through the 18th. No. Anyways, that’s our travel dates. So before July we’re doing your foundation in London,
Sarah:, 01:12:05
Not Ontario, Canada,
Cassy:, 01:12:21
and there’ll be an #IAmBeauty movement there as well. And then in August, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth, we’re doing a foundation in LA and there will be an #IAmBeauty taster are there as well.
Sarah:, 01:12:25
And that’s where Sarah lives. That’s her stomping ground. Yeah. It’s going to be fun.
Cassy:, 01:12:25
And then, um, we’re looking into, we don’t have the dates exactly yet, but in November there’ll be a two day, two full days of #IAmBeauty in India. TBA on the dates of that.
Sarah:, 01:12:47
That and that will be our first full today class. So beyond excited for that.
Cassy:, 01:13:01
And where is there a listing of all of these? Which links should they click to find a listing of all of these?
Ashley:, 01:13:06
Uh, well, you know, what? The Sassy event page and it has all in there. That’s maybe the fastest, easiest way. Yeah.
Cassy:, 01:13:15
Cool. So you can head there to see all of them in one place. Perfect. Anything else you want to share about contacting you? Cool. Thank you. Thank you Sarah and Cassy. I am so, so, so grateful that you joined me and I hope that all of you who are viewing will continue to take the next steps with both Sarah and Cassy and stay in touch with them. Check out their links. I’ve included all of them below the video so it’s really accessible to all of you and be sure to subscribe to the series and get involved in the conversation by leaving a comment. I know all of us would love to hear from you and thank you. Thank you everyone for joining us. We’re so grateful. I will speak for myself. I’m so grateful.
Ashley:, 01:13:22
Yeah, I’m so grateful and can I acknowledge you and just thank you so much for the gift that you be. You’re such a unique space of like no judgment. Total receiving… curiosity. You’re set. You’re are stunning person and I’m so grateful that you invited us on here. I just adore you.
Cassy:, 01:14:12
That feels so good…thank you!
Ashley:, 01:14:12
Ya know Ashley, I will also acknowledge you. So a lot of times you’ll do interviews and the joy of the interview around doesn’t resonate through the interview, so thank you so much for having that space and true question.
Sarah:, 01:14:40
Thank you. I had questions written down, but I didn’t look at them at all. But I love that it’s so fun because we were just, you know, surfing energy, you know, we’re just like, oh, what’s coming up now? This is fun and this and let’s talk more about that. And that’s my favorite way to do it. Anyway, so thank you for being so flexible with me. I’m so grateful. Thank you. Bye everyone. Take care.
Ashley:, 01:14:58

Connect with Sarah & Cassy

Co-Founders of The #IAmBeauty Movement

About the Author:

Ashley Stamatinos is a five-time #1bestselling author with over 10 years of experience helping Highly Sensitive People. She has also been referred to as the Empath Expert because of her extensive work helping people to stop living in survival mode, and step into thriving in all areas of life.

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