Jacquelyn Strickland on Empowering the Highly Sensitive Person

Some of the topics we covered in this conversation…

  • How Jacquelyn met Dr. Elain Aron [03:40]

  • What are the HSP Gathering Retreats? [04:09]

  • The interesting change she’s seen in her retreats over the years. [12:17]

  • How we can pivot from looking at our trait as a weakness to seeing it as a gift. [15:45]

  • Specific suggestions for communicating with you non-HSP partner. [25:13]

  • Exactly what to tell you non-HSP partner. [28:28]

  • Her dream for a better future for HSPs. [31:00]

  • Why do HSPs not get as much recognition for their accomplishments? [32:14]

  • Why so many of us are seeking to feel seen and heard. [34:25]

  • A word of encouragement from Jacquelyn to you. [36:42]

Here is the in-depth conversation…

Ashley: 00:48
Hello everyone. Welcome to the show. I’m so excited that you’re here with me today I have a very special treat for you. I am here with Jacquelyn Strickland…welcome…welcome. This is so wonderful. I’m so grateful that Jacqueline said yes to being on the show and I’m sure that a lot of important listening because we’re listening to show about highly sensitive people. You’re probably already familiar with her, but if you’re not, let me tell you a little bit more about her before I start asking her some of my questions. Jacquelyn is a Licensed Professional Counselor, mentor, and workshop leader based in Ft. Collins, Colorado and has worked has worked exclusively with HSPs since 1999. She co-founded the HSP Gathering Retreats in 2000 with Dr. Elaine Aron, and just celebrated the 34th HSP Gathering in Dorset, England. Her background in Social Work, Women’s Studies, cultural diversity, and a graduate degree in Counseling, have empowered and informed her work since first finding out about the HSP trait in 1996. Her counseling practice combines therapeutic orientations, and coaching principles with her client’s spiritual foundation. She shares her work with HSPs around the world via national and international retreats, workshops, and online classes. She been certified to utilize the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment since 1991, and is a Level II EMDR therapist. Jacquelyn has been married to a non-HSP introvert since 1978 and is the mother of two grown sons, one an HSP. So you know, I have so many questions for her. Welcome. Welcome Jacqueline. Thank you again for being here.

Jacquelyn: 03:12
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the lovely introduction and I just want to add that I’ve been married to a non highly sensitive person introvert since 1978, but I’m one of the more rare sensitive extroverts so it’s an interesting combination.

Ashley: 03:31
I am a highly sensitive person, extrovert as well. And I married non highly sensitive person as well.

Jacquelyn: 03:37
Okay. Is he an introvert as well?

Ashley: 03:40
Extrovert. He’s an extrovert. Okay. Maybe it’s not as rare that. Yes, and I do have a son who is a highly sensitive child as well. So, you know, it of course gives me so many questions to ask you and I guess what I would really like to do is sort of start from the beginning because I’d like to get some foundational information from you. So could we start by having you tell us a little bit more about you and your journey to becoming a leader in the world of highly sensitive people?

Jacquelyn: 04:09
Yes. It’s a, it’s a fantastic story that I love to tell and it knows was synchronicities too many to go into on this call, but basically I was waiting for a bus in Marin county in May of 1996. It was a bus shelter. It was raining and cold and I was in a bad mood and I was looking around like where’s the bus? And so I was looking at all these flyers that were posted up inside the bus shelter, one that was all tattered and torn and damp, and it said, do you find yourself needing more sleep than the average person? And I was like, yeah, yes I do. Do you find yourself eating more downtime to process the events in your day? I was going, yes. Yes. Do you find yourself deeply moved by music? I was going, yes. Do you find yourself being greatly soothed by being in water or near nature and.

Jacquelyn: 05:09
And I was getting goosebumps by this time and I was kind of looking around, seeing who’s asking this unique set of questions, um, do you find yourself unique, spiritual, do you find yourself leaning toward altruism? And then it’s something you may be a highly sensitive person. And at the bottom was a little tear off and it was Elaine Aron’s phone number and it was her looking for research subjects for her phd, which then became the basis of her first book. So I tore out the phone number. This was before email by the way, went home back to Colorado and kept it in my purse, in my, in my wallet I think. And she had said it was going to be a book published. So I got the book and I saw myself on every page and I’m the next year I decided to try to do a group here in Fort Collins.

Jacquelyn: 05:59
I sent a little thing into my newspaper about time, place, date, what, how much and thinking nothing was going to come over. And I got a call from the lifestyle editor that week saying, could I do an interview with you? Because this is an interesting topic that’s coming across our media wires. Well, I didn’t really know what that was, but I was like, okay, so we did this interview and the next Sunday morning on the lifestyle page was this huge article. Are you a highly sensitive person? And so anyway, long story short, my phone is ringing off the hook. I did three consecutive groups of Research Service and advocacy. That’s the kind of groups that I like to run and the next year I put them in the thing and send them to Elaine Aron. Long story short, that’s how we met and I’m in the story continues from there, but I’ll stop there because it just goes on and on. But it was just such a synchronistic series of events.

Ashley: 06:55
I love that and I was also really curious how you and Dr.Aron actually met for the first time because I know that you do the retreats together or you started them together, but I don’t know the whole story. So you know, this is. This is something for all of you listeners. This is something that drew me in to you, Jacqueline, so much because I will also tell all of the listeners that if you haven’t yet, and I’m sure we’ll get into it a little later, at least maybe it will be mentioned, but there’s a fabulous movie out there called sensItive. The untold story and that is where I first learned about you actually, which I’m surprised I didn’t know all about you before that, but when I learned about you from what movie, I felt very drawn to hearing more and I saw what an impact you’re making in the world with these retreats. And then of course they would tear website and learned more about you. But let me jump back a little and give you the floor to talk a little bit more about the retreat. So tell us how the HSP Gathering Retreat started.

Jacquelyn: 08:00
Well, after I sent Elaine my compound, these booklets with the research, the qualitative, informal research that my group that discovered in our unmet needs and what kind of advocacy where we’re going to do around those needs, it might put them together with ribbons and sent them to her in snail mail because there was no email and said I was going to be there the next year or the next, I dunno whenever and I would love to meet her, but she didn’t call me and I came home feeling rather dejected and a little bit embarrassed, but I got a letter from her, an email that said, Dear Jacqueline, I’m so sorry I missed you while you were in San Francisco. I just open my mail parentheses sometimes I don’t open my mail for days, sometimes weeks. Would you please call me? So I called her and we ended up talking for about an hour and a half and decided she wanted to know about my background and um, my theoretical orientation to working with highly sensitive people, which I said I didn’t really have one because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with us, but I saw it as a cultural diversity issue.

Jacquelyn: 09:03
So she wanted tp know all about that and my background, cultural diversity. So we talked in and then we decided to talk later. And in between them, I had gone for a hike in Rocky Mountain National Park and I was on the hike and if the people, the group in back of me decided to get off the trail and they were plowing through this gorgeous meadow of wildflowers and I became incensed one because you’re not supposed to get up the trail, two, because they were pushing his wife. I was down into the mud and it was still spring and they were pushing them down and I just had this vision of all these wild flowers were like highly sensitive people coming up every spring eager to share their joy, their beauty, their uniqueness. And along comes some unconscious hiking boot that just pushes us down into the mode and the highly sensitive person is going, how did I get here again?

Jacquelyn: 09:52
And I just thought to myself, you need to gather wild flowers together and let them know that we need to create some kind of boundary so that we’re not crushed every spring. And so the next time I talked to a lady, I was telling her this vision and she was like. So she was like, would you like my California mailing lists? And I was like, well, okay. And then she said, but what are you going to do? And she said, I said, well, I don’t want to do a workshop. And she was like, well, you don’t want to do a conference. Oh no, not a conference or a seminar. I don’t want to do any of that. I just feel like we just need to get together. And she went gathering, gathering. Perfect. So we called it a gathering retreat and the first one was may in 2001. And um, she, um, our agreement was that she would show up and do her three hour presentation and question and answers and I will do all the rest of the work, which has held true today. But you know, 16 years later, I don’t think either of us thought that they would still be going and it’s kind of along with their energy.

Ashley: 11:02
For those of you who are listening or watching because this is available in both formats. You know, when you, when you go to Jacqueline’s website, you can see about the HSP gathering retreats, there are pictures and there are groups over and over and over again throughout the years. And it’s so wonderful to see people coming together and I love the sort of non aggressive word of retreat. It feels safe. It feels inviting. So that makes total sense that that’s the wording that you chose.

Jacquelyn: 11:38
Yeah, yeah.

Ashley: 11:41
Amazing, oh well thank you for that. What it really curious about. So, so how many. Actually I’m also curious, how many days is the retreat usually? It is like a three day thing?

Jacquelyn: 11:53
No, it’s four nights. We usually arrive on a Thursday and check out on Monday either after breakfast or after lunch and depending on people’s travel scheduled. So we have support four nights and so we have quite a bit of time together, which allows a real sense of community and trust and bonding to develop and how many people make lifelong friends. Um, yeah.

Ashley: 12:17
You must have seen so much over the years and gathered so much information about, you know, what I love about seeing people over and over again who are highly sensitive people. You start seeing threads and similarities among them and I’m also really curious, you know, from doing these retreats so long, have you noticed that they have evolved or changed or shifted and I’m just curious, what is, what it does it look different now than it did back then?

Jacquelyn: 12:46
You know it is different, but it doesn’t necessarily look different, but what’s different I think is one, my confidence and to the and the people who come now are more educated about what the trait needs. They’re more eager to dive in and more eager to learn and the thing that’s evolved with them than I think has just made them so special is I’ve created these mottos like this motto of trust, the process, even if feeling anxious or vulnerable, always asking what is there for me to learn in this moment and most importantly, what is there for me? What is there? What do I need in this moment? So what’s happened in the experiential process of our group or do I need and what is there for me to learn and I go through that myself and so I’ve had to learn to not be attached to the outcome and let whatever evolves of wells. And what I found is, although there’s been challenges with certain HSPS, we’re not all perfectly empowered. Some of us come with unhealed wounds and troubles, but I found with the co-creation of everyone’s energies that often, most often the result is just so it’s just this magical experience for all of us. Uh, and every magic, every single retreat has been different. So it’s just a joy and a bit of anxiety to anticipate the next one. Like, okay, what’s going to, what kind of magic is gonna happen here?

Jacquelyn: 14:28
No, I’d be overwhelmed by it or you know.

Ashley: 14:31
Yes. I mean that’s, that’s, that makes perfect sense. That would be a natural way as it approaches. And how many do you have a year? I’m so sorry.

Jacquelyn: 14:47
I used to have three a year, but now I’m down to two and I might go down to one because I’m older and I have two grandkids. Three grandchildren now, so, um, my life has kind of switched, shifted a bit.

Ashley: 15:00
Yes, I know that that’s like with the young ones running around and there’s a little bit different. So while you are in the place that you are, you know, as a counselor and running these retreats and working with the highly sensitive people like us, people like you and I and also so diverse and differences among them. I’m curious, I have found that a lot of people are viewing, even now with all the information, some people come into it and they’re fresh and new, but they are really struggling with looking at their sensitivity as a weakness. So I’m really curious, what do you, what do you say, or how can we pivot the listeners? How can we pivot from looking at our, our trait of sensitivity as a weakness to looking at it as a gift?

Jacquelyn: 15:53
That’s an excellent question and it’s really not an easy answer, but I will say that it is a journey, a spiritual journey from going. Um, I kind of have created these stages of awareness and acceptance around your trait. So as you had said earlier that you were in denial about it and then go from denial to being disparaging about it. Like, Oh, I’m too sensitive I’m week, I’ve got a bulk up going to actually acknowledging it. Okay, maybe I do have needs that are different than someone else. And then going into affirming it, which is, wow, these needs, these gifts are pretty interesting. I have something to offer uniquely world going into promoting it.

Jacquelyn: 16:44
As I said, it’s a it’s journey and part of that journey is being aware of the stage you’re in, but why you’re in that stage and how I know Ted stuff and one of his books, he talks about the boy code. Well, I’ve also identified woman code in a, an HSP code and enemy enemy can code. For example, you know, we know the women code. Many of us internalized messages that we have to be pretty and but not too smart fan, but not too thin a don’t rock the status quo but needs of others first. Or the HSP code that I’ve discovered is. I’m just going to refer to my notes here is don’t be too emotional. I don’t think so deeply. Don’t overreact. Don’t tell the truth. Don’t be so intense. Don’t launch the status quo. Don’t cry so much. Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill and don’t worry so much. So, you know, I think part of seeing it as a gift is moves us through looking at these messages that we’ve internalized and challenging these messages, uh, and being aware of which ones are influencing our negative self. Talk about us. Like I said, it doesn’t happen overnight for many, many highly sensitive people just especially if they come from really hurtful, dysfunctional childhoods. Um, it can be an arduous task to, to move along, to becoming empowered and seeing it as a gift, but it’s a struggle that is just so worth pursuing.

Ashley: 18:17
I completely agree. And I love, I love that you got your notes out because the things that you just listed, I was just nodding because it’s, it’s so true. And I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I have in my own personal life heard. Don’t be so emotional, it just figure it out, toughen up, don’t be so dramatic, don’t, you know, you don’t need to process things that deeply, care less, you know, we touched upon and, and I know that I’m not alone. I mean the listeners are going to be nodding as well and so I thank you for reading that off or for sharing that with us because it’s kind of like when you first, you know, when you first saw that that poster on the phone, the phone pole, you know, Elaine Aron’s, um, you know, questions and you were just nodding and nodding and you know, it’s nice to, to hear you saying those things. I also, I also felt it was really nice when you were talking about how I also sometimes don’t look at my emails every day. Sometimes it can be really overwhelming. So I thank you for sharing that, which it might not seem like a big deal just sharing that part of the story, but it feels so good to hear that. Oh, that’s another thing that some other HSPs don’t do. Sometimes we don’t want to open our email. What’s going to be in there?

Jacquelyn: 19:41

Ashley: 19:45 Thank you for that. Something else I find a lot of people approach me with is they know they’re intuitive but they don’t know how to trust their intuition and they’re so stuck in that cycle of, you know, sort of being afraid of being wrong in sort of getting the wrong intuition. And I would love if you could speak to that a little bit and just sort of help the listeners who are struggling with trusting their intuition. What can you say to them?

Jacquelyn: 20:10
Well, I think intuition comes naturally for some HSPs, especially if they’re dominant. Myers Briggs preference is intuition or those who, who it’s not. And that’s just a few of the Myers Briggs types that are not. Intuition is not their dominant preference, but it can be difficult. And so, I have this thing called a personal faith journal that I use with clients and it’s, it’s sort of asked them just something like, you know, have, have them ponder what once your heart’s attention, what are, if you’re a Christian or are you pray, what are you praying for? What are you striving for? What are you hoping for in different areas of your life? And so then the next column is what is your personal responsibility for making that happen, so shouldn’t be making that phone call. Shouldn’t be taking that class, should it be reading this book and then and then taking inching forward and trusting something and then waiting for a sign from the universe and if, if you’re on the right track, you’re going to get a yes, you’re going to call that person and they’re gonna go, oh my God, I can’t believe you called me and it’s going to be a yes and then that’s going to lead to something else into something else.

Jacquelyn: 21:24
So to me in a way, intuition and having faith in smallest of actions can actually be proven by a yes from the universe.

Jacquelyn: 21:35
And then the other thing is to go into nature. I do this nature as healer and teacher activity at almost all of the gatherings and it’s to go into nature and to actually ask her wisdom based on what, what are you seeing feeling? What images come to mind when you hear and just listen for guidance there. That is a huge one for me. I always go to nature when I am really struggling with some some troubling situation and then finally I had to chew into my body when making decisions and I learned this from Dan Siegel at a workshop of his which he had us close our eyes and he said the word Yes 10 times and then we closed her eyes and said the word No and times. So there was a distinct difference in my body when he was saying no, it was closing. It was contractive or when he was saying yes, there was a feeling of expansion. So now when I have to make a decision, I go to one side of the room. Is the Yes, the other side of the room is the No, and I do get a definite sense of either contracting or expanding. So when I get the expanding I’m like, okay, that’s a yes, I’m going to go for it. I’m gonna. See what the universe responds to me on that and I just sort of play this game of playing with my intuition and seeing what happens.

Ashley: 23:02
Amazing. I love that you bring your body into it too because I’ve seen so many of us not utilize the awareness from our body like that because our bodies are sensitive and we feel a lot and sometimes we want to suppress that. Like I told you I had done in the past. we can use that tool and it’s also so practical and applicable right now. No, you can take away. This is nugget of amazing information in this tool and utilize it right now. Moving forward and it’ll help you increase your trust, your intuition and a know If it’s a yes or a mill and test it out on yourself.

Jacquelyn: 23:45
And then I’ll be happy to share a nature as teacher and healer exercise that I’ve published in my newsletter before. I don’t think I sent you that link before, but I can share that link and then the listeners can go and actually go into nature with their little instruction sheet just so.

Ashley: 24:03
Okay, so I will have the link below the video or below the audio, wherever you are listening or watching the video or they’ll make will be available for you. Very cool. So another reason, shifting gears just a little bit, another reason I was very curious to speak with you is maybe the most response from people within the things that I have offered to the community of highly sensitive people. The biggest response has been people who are highly sensitive in a relationship with a non highly sensitive person that has been the largest response by far and so I wanted to talk to you a little bit about that and I’m especially happy to hear that you have personal experience, but I know you have a lot of professional experiences, but also can you give the listeners some suggestions on things they can say to one highly sensitive partner will help them better understand how we function and how they can handle us when we are upset or sensitive in some situations?

Jacquelyn: 25:13
Yeah, I’d love to. First of all, I want to say Elaine Aron has a wonderful book, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love. I just want to say I’ve been asked true or false and highly sensitive people have trouble in relationships answered. Yes, of course they do. Why? Because all people have trouble. It’s not just us, so we can have unique challenges, but other relationships have challenges too. So I don’t want HSPs to feel like, oh, you know, I can’t make it in a relationship because it takes work. And so I think how we function is that it’s up to the HSP to educate the partner first, educate themselves, educate their partner through film books, discussions and examples. Especially when the HSP or let’s say myself and especially when I’m experiencing something specific to the D.O.E.S. depth of processing, overstimulation, emotional intensity and responsiveness as sensitive to subtleties.

Jacquelyn: 26:25
It’s a teachable moment that I can share with my non-HSP partner about this is what it’s like for me right now because I’m experiencing this because of this. Oh, I don’t want him to handle me. I find that rather patronizing. I want him to respond to me. I want him to, um, I, I want to be able to tell him specifically what I need in those situations. So the responsibility comes back to me to educate him and tell him specifically what I need you. I need a hug in that moment. Do I need someone to just listen to me without giving me advice? I need someone to offer. I often go to my husband because he’s so different than me, so totally different than me and I just say I just am looking for another perspective. I don’t want you to devalued mine, but I just want another perspective that’s different than mine to give me a frame.

Jacquelyn: 27:27
And so, um, and I think that unfortunately during this process of two partners understanding each other, unfortunately there’s conflict, highly sensitive people tend to shy away from conflict, but I find it incredibly important to handle conflict in a way that is honoring if both people. And it’s not all about the HSP needs because the nine HSP has needs as well. And the honor, both of those needs and, and something that I’ve learned for conflict resolution that’s been so, so, so helpful is learning nonviolent communication. So I’d encourage the listeners to check that out and to become fluent in how to do that so when conflict does arise, but at least have some background and some tools, to approach it. Um, I can tell you what an HSP partner, you know, shouldn’t do is let me find my notes here because We don’t patronizing. We don’t need fixing and we don’t need devaluing about our perspectives. We need to be honored for our different perspectives even though it might be different and most likely are different from your non-HSP perspective. Somehow I know my husband and I often given to his way or my way, and can be… I’ve learned to say, there’s his way, and my way, and is there a third way? The third way and to seek it out.

Ashley: 29:04
Oh, love that. And that word honoring. It seems to be when I was researching about you, it’s also a word that you used about retreats that you create space where you’re honoring the people. Am I right? Is that true?

Jacquelyn: 29:16
Yeah. Yeah. Honoring our uniqueness.

Ashley: 29:20
That’s amazing. And that’s, that’s a skill that we can all strengthen that muscle to be able to stay in relationships where we are honoring both parties, yourself and the other person in the relationship. And I as, I’m listening to you, I’m recognizing the value of what you’re sharing with us is also with your children, with your parents, in a work setting. He knows sort of teaching them how to communicate with you and maybe also asking them how would they like you to communicate with them, and all the things you said, amazing for being in a relationship with a non highly sensitive person and applicable to other situations as well. So amazing. Thank you for that. That’s a big topic. And I want to ask you more, but I’m going to leave it there. Leave everybody’s wanting more. So something else I wanted to ask you more and I love asking people this question and just out of pure curiosity. And so curious, what is your dream for a better future? For highly sensitive?

Jacquelyn: 30:32
Let me go to my notes because I’m still hung up on the couple thing. But, um,

Ashley: 30:42
I know! I’m so grateful for everything you shared and we can talk forever about that.

Jacquelyn: 30:47
And that’s what I love about the gatherings and sent many times. We do talk forever. Um, I don’t usually, I go to bed early, but there’ve been some HSPs stay up til three in the morning and I go, I’m like, God took about overstimulation and they’re like, this is the once in a lifetime chance to talk for hours. So I’m like, okay, just go ahead, but I gotta go to bed. But anyway, what is, it’s for? It’s for continuing accurate information and research to come out that continues honoring this trait which will then empower it just pays to own their voice to own their perspective. And then my big dream is that HSPs will, will eventually, some are already are. Um, I’ve worked hard to get acknowledgement for what value I bring to my family. It’s not always tangible, it’s not always in the, in the way of financial rewards or success, but it isn’t a way of, you know, empathy and compassion and my commitment to social justice and my role model to social justice issues. And, and two for HSPs to get acknowledged as the healers and artists to leaders that they are the ones that are behind the scenes trying to make the world better. And, and I, I would love to see us get more recognition for those contributions.

Ashley: 32:14
I’m so grateful for what you are looking forward to, and what your working so hard to create and I love that so much. And he also, you know, it’s interesting because I’m not sure that I realized how hard it is to get recognition and you know, quite a few parts of what you brought up about what we’re looking to the future for. I, can you talk about that for a minute? Is that something that. Do we as HSP HSPs do we do things that are just not as rewardable in our society? What, what, what is that about? Just curious.

Jacquelyn: 33:00
I think it is true. I think our dominant culture, as most of us know what a great deal of emphasis on, um, you know, starting very, very early about being a good girl or a good hearing to the code and the boy or the girl code or the HSP and getting a good grade in school and getting a good job and go into the right college and making money and, and you know, having this “perfect life” and success is defined in such a narrow way. And, and I think that we HSPs one of the biggest things toward empowerment is that we have to learn to define success on our own terms. That means that I’m going to be the best mother that stays at home with her children than I can be. I’m going to call that success. You know, I think we have to honor different ways, different definitions of success.

Ashley: 33:57
Oh, I just got chills. I wonder if any of the listeners just got chills hearing that. If so, comment below we want to hear from you. Yes, absolutely. And it’s coming. I feel like the winds are changing and you know, you and Dr. Aaron and so many others have been building the foundation out there, spreading the word for so many years that it is now becoming so much more well known, this topic. And like you said, a lot of people coming to your retreats now are more educated than they were in the beginning when you first started them.

Jacquelyn: 34:34
Yeah. And I think my retreats people come to them. I think many of them come to the retreats almost unconsciously expecting to be fixed to give them these tools, you know, one, two, three, four, five, do this, this and that and you’ll be okay now. And really it’s not about specific strategy so much as it is about, um, being in a group and for the first time feeling seen and heard for what you think and feel and need and uh, and experience and sharing that in an environment where people are, you know, listening to you with rapt attention. And that in itself is healing for the many people have never experienced that before. It feels like. And they’re like, okay, I deserve this and this now for my relationships and I don’t have to be invisible.

Ashley: 35:43
That’s amazing. I could just see all of those people staying up until two or three in the morning for the first time, hearing someone else having the same passions and the same life experiences different but similar points and that makes so much sense that, that transition for recognizing that they’re not really there to be there to honor their true self and that others are there to do the same. Not even realizing. That’s just amazing. I love that so much.

Jacquelyn: 36:14

Ashley: 36:15
I’m wondering as we begin, as we basically are finished and that knowledge, this actually went faster than I even imagined. Um, I could talk to you for so long. I’m wondering if you could share with yours. I’m a word of encouragement. Just very helpful for us to receive a word of encouragement for those that are struggling with confidence or struggling with software.

Jacquelyn: 36:42
Yeah. I would just say that struggling with self worth and confidence is part of the journey. It’s part of the beginning of your journey so that it will pass. Just know that with diligence and persistence in getting the right information and practicing boundary setting and practicing, focusing on needs, not approval and making these slow paradigm shifts in your life that you can get to a point where you feel like you’re living authentically and it’s not easy. There are some trials and tribulations along the way. There’s some grief and loss along the way. I’ve experienced it myself and so, you know, for me, I have what I call what I call my own HSP inner sanctuary. Sometimes that is in nature where I’m sitting under a tree and the sunlight is coming down on me just after I’ve meditated. Sometimes it’s in my bedroom with the covers over me, but it’s a place that I go where it’s just me and I take all my struggles and all my, all my concerns and uh, and I allow myself to feel loved and accepted there. And for me prayer is an important part of my life. So I just tell people that if you’re struggling to just work through it because it’s such a struggle worth pursuing and um, you can move through it.

Ashley: 38:22
Thank you so much for sharing that with us I’m sure that so many people that are listening right now would love to them more about you and continue on with you. So can you please share with us how the listeners can learn more about you?

Jacquelyn: 38:40
I have a website right now. It’s called lifeworkshelp.com. It’s going to be changing to my name hopefully soon. If I can quit procrastinating there. You can sign up for my newsletter, HSP highlights and insights and you can find about out about my online classes like coming up as the Myers Briggs with the HSP overlay in August. And then there’s the 35th HSP gathering retreat is going to be held in the catskills of New York, September 30th – October 4th. And I’m working on another online class that we often do this more. We often practice a smile at the gatherings called integrated wholeness of the heart, where, which teaches us how to avoid rumination. And move toward a more heart centered action, um, so it’s pretty valuable for me. HSPs who tend to go round and round and round with our gap, the processing, but we never get to a conclusion that feels authentic and empowering. So that’s what that, that class is about. So yeah, go to my website and also I should also always go to Elaine Aron’s website, HSPerson.com and she lists events there and my gatherings are listed there as well.

Ashley: 40:03
And the SensItive movie that we talked about that your future then as well, if you can, can you. The link is definitely on the HSPerson.com, right?

Jacquelyn: 40:13
Yes. I think it’s sensitivethemovie.com . And you can download it and watch it for 4.99 or you can own it for 9.99. So worth it. So worth showing to your church group, your family. You’re a start a meet up and show it. Yeah. It’s wonderful.

Ashley: 40:35
Absolutely. Absolutely. I love that idea. That’s a really good idea. Yes. Download that. Buy that and put a gathering together. Excellent. So all of these links, and you’re on social media, you’re active on social media as well, so I’ll include your social media links below as well. So for any of you are listening, you know you have access to all those links and I hope that you will continue the conversation with Jacqueline, and I’m so grateful that you joined us today. Thank you so much Jacqueline.

Jacquelyn: 41:11
I was going to say, oh, thank you. You’re welcome. It’s been really fun and I love sharing wisdom and conversing with other highly sensitive people, so it’s always wonderful.

Ashley: 41:23
Me too. Absolutely. This is such a pleasure and we would also love to hear from all of you your thoughts about this interview. Any questions or comments that you have, please post your comments underneath this video and we will be sure to get back to. Would love to hear from you and we can continue the conversation there. So thank you again for joining us and the see you on the next episode. Bye everyone.

Connect with Jacquelyn Strickland

(Licensed Professional Counselor for HSPs)

About the Author:

Ashley Stamatinos is a five-time #1bestselling author with over 10 years of experience helping Highly Sensitive People. She has also been referred to as the Empath Expert because of her extensive work helping people to stop living in survival mode, and step into thriving in all areas of life.