For whatever reason, I’ve been seeing a lot of people within my private coaching practice share stories with me about anger and frustration within relationships. When we dig down deep, the frustrations are about being misunderstood and made “wrong” for their actions, ideas or choices. Have you been experiencing this?
If you’re reading this, you’re most likely a sensitive soul (like me), and you easily blame yourself, and take all the responsibility when something doesn’t go as planned, right?
For instance, if you are in a relationship, and your partner is unhappy, you might automatically assume you did something wrong.
If your child is having outbursts at school or at home, you might automatically wonder what YOU did wrong.
Maybe your boss has been really grumpy lately and you can’t help but wonder if they are actually upset with you because of something you did wrong.
As soon as we make ourselves “wrong”, we usually do one of two things. 1) we try to fix or change the situation, or 2) we start to shut down and quiet elements of ourselves that we assume must be offensive or bad. We will often turn off large amounts of our personality in the process of trying to fix a situation.
In our effort to make things right, we turn off so much of ourselves, that we unconsciously create massive separation from others.
We are hard-wired to see a situation that’s uncomfortable, and immediately look for how we are judgeable and wrong, instead of looking at the value we offer.
On the flip side, have you ever met a person who needs to be right?
They are the ones who love a debate and will push their point of view until you agree that their perspective is right.
When people feel they have to prove something about themselves, most often they believe the exact opposite is true.
The people who have to be right all the time actually deep down believe that they’re really wrong.
I think that’s so interesting!
This addiction to being right to avoid being wrong is the source of all arguments. Can you think of an argument that you’ve had with someone that wasn’t about each of you trying to prove you were right and the other person was wrong?
Next time you and your family member or friend are about to get into an argument, ask yourself, “If I wasn’t afraid of being wrong, would we actually be arguing about this?”
When we are trying to prove we are right, this gives us no freedom. There is only freedom in your willingness to be wrong.
When you’re willing to be viewed as wrong, you’re free, because no one can judge you for something you’re not judging yourself.
Just a little something that was on my mind this morning.
I hope this helped give you a little clarity and maybe this will also give you permission to be willing to be wrong and look for the rightness of you, instead of immediately looking at the wrongness of you.
Have a fabulous day!!